Thursday 31 December 2015

A prayer for new beginings

Dear Jehovah It is a very bitter sweet gift, this gift you gave us Jehovah. Do not get me wrong (I trust you not), I love living but I happen to do find it more of a burden than a gift. It is too demanding, at times it gets so overwhelming that I at times rather wish myself more or less rather peacefully dead than alive. I was left rather troubled when the gift that was my father died. It was not that he died that troubled me but rather, the things that led to his passing.
Pray
Did he die because he was pushed into dying or was it because he no longer had the tenacity, the will to live? If he died out the need to die, was it I who led him to that ending and if so, will you Jehovah, ever forgive me for my hand in his passing? It doesn’t take much to push me well over the edge…that I am now quite very clearly sure of. For one thing I find myself quite rather more at ease with being concerned with him more than he is of other people. My father’s death, this seemingly never ending grieving process, the financial hardships and consequences resulting from it has stripped me naked; forcing me to look at my naked self right in the eye, guts and nakedness included and perceive or rather begin to perceive who I really am. I refuse to see myself as would a failure but I do see that I have not achieved anything kind of note worthy. I feel the greatness thumbing within but that is where it ends: nothing more. It takes a lot of work to show your greatness…I might have the strength but I do not have the will. I had plenty of it but it seems I have finally run out of it. It seems you are forcing me into first finding out who I am without my father first before venturing into re-aligning my life. I can go on moaning about my friends’ success but it seems it will not help. Nor will grieving about my father so much. It seems I ought to go back into learning more about you Jehovah, learn why we as humans and I as a person on my own right get to suffer so much. It seems it is not enough coming to you in praise and prayer, for my own sake I must learn how to love you not for the sake of my family or even myself but rather for my own sake; for me to want to live and to live again. I must re-align my purpose and then be able to live! I may not know where this prayer will lead but I do believe Jehovah, that you will never leave me…Your Son promised: “I will always be with you, even unto the end of the world.

A prayer for next year


Hello
My name is who I am
I am my name
Somebody not more of a somebody
Just a being.

A being who aspires
Aspires to be somebody
I aspire to continue
To continue becoming
Becoming all I am becoming

I become if I may
A human
A being who can not
Only become
But who is free to choose,
Choice;

A beautiful concept
That is if you can afford
To become
Afford you being
To be a being

You still do know who I am
Maybe you will have to buy me
But only if you be blind.

For more poems please go to www.masiza4000.blogspot.com

Wednesday 30 December 2015

A prayer for next year


Hello
My name is who I am
I am my name
Somebody not more of a somebody
Just a being.

A being who aspires
Aspires to be somebody
I aspire to continue
To continue becoming
Becoming all I am becoming

I become if I may
A human
A being who can not
Only become
But who is free to choose,
Choice;

A beautiful concept
That is if you can afford
To become
Afford you being
To be a being

You still do know who I am
Maybe you will have to buy me
But only if you be blind.

For more poems please go to www.masiza4000.blogspot.com

Monday 28 December 2015

Thursday 16 July 2015

If you were here

If you were here If you were here I wouldn’t be here. My dignity would not be trampled over so By children My soul wouldn’t be so sour over little things And my haert wouldn’t be so heavy over Lose of so meaningless a thing as is my sense of self. I am a nobody, I know that. A dog’s being is better than mine And its broken haert is of far greater value than mine: I know that. But even a dog has a coat on it. Am I that naked now that you gone?

If you were here

If you were here If you were here I wouldn’t be here. My dignity would not be trampled over so By children My soul wouldn’t be so sour over little things And my haert wouldn’t be so heavy over Lose of so meaningless a thing as is my sense of self. I am a nobody, I know that. A dog’s being is better than mine And its broken haert is of far greater value than mine: I know that. But even a dog has a coat on it. Am I that naked now that you gone?

If you were here

If you were here If you were here I wouldn’t be here. My dignity would not be trampled over so By children My soul wouldn’t be so sour over little things And my haert wouldn’t be so heavy over Lose of so meaningless a thing as is my sense of self. I am a nobody, I know that. A dog’s being is better than mine And its broken haert is of far greater value than mine: I know that. But even a dog has a coat on it. Am I that naked now that you gone?

Saturday 27 June 2015

Friday 1 May 2015

The South Africa my fathers built Part 3: A few things worth noting.

Living in this country called South Africa is a dream most Swazi children wish to experience at least for two and a half days if not their whole ‘boring’ life somewhere else like the Kingdom of Swaziland for example. We all want to live here, and that is true for every Swazi Child.

Coming to live here was a bitter sweet thing for me. On the one hand you get to be treated like a great, very lucky and important celebrity by your friends. On the other hand, you scared out of your wits by the stories you hear about the place. The scariest of all these horrid yet fascinating stories are those from your playmates-they all have to be about Jozi and the horrible, terrible thugs it supposedly hubours.
I have been muged once but unfortunately or fortunately for me, It was never in Jozi for I have never (and wish never to be) been to Jozi. I live and have been living among the Zulu of Ntumbane, North KwaZulu-Natal ever since my family came back from Swaziland.
Being an outsider, what some would call a foreigner, gives you a different perspective of things from that of the insider. Here are some of the things I have seen in my part of South Africa;

·        South Africa and its democracy.
The word democracy is Greek for demos (the people) and kratien (to rule). South Africa is in formal terms called the Republic of South Africa. This means that the country is-at least at inception, a country where the leader to be is determined through his/her largest number of votes acquired, he is then expected to use his/her best judgment to meet the needs of the people (Microsoft Enactar Encyclopedia 2006). This ideal was very much in force during the rule of President Nelson Mandela. He was able to act in accord to the best of his morals, values and judgment. He was the president, not the people’s puppet or play thing as is currently the case twenty years down the line of South Africa’s history. Looking at the news every other night, it is easy to see what I mean and the effects of this developments. One example of this is the number of laws we now have in force in the country. One such thing is the proposed enactment of a law that would allow 12 year old girl pupils the ability to commit the sin of abortion through the help of clinics and public or private hospitals. It would be very naive of me not to consider the fact that what is moral to me may not be moral to the next person. But it was immoral enough for the government to allow the average adult women to commit the sin of abortion...to provide that much of a responsibility to be shouldered by a twelve year old would be a very immoral usage of this thing they call democracy.
The sad part about this country’s democracy is that my people seem to succeed in holding their elected members of parliament under their sway so much that what they want goes, be it good or bad in the long term.

·        Is the Republic of South Africa an Oligocracy?
An oligocracy is a form of government whose direction is directed by rich business motivated statesman who are often economically heavily invested in the country. They therefore wish to have their profits returned through their determining of the country’s laws, policies and general direction.
There are a number of things about my country that seem to point out that there is a tendency of oligocracy in the country. One such example of this is the problem presented by mining houses in the country. They seem to be able to at least belate the government in its attempt to reform the minning industry.
Another point that seems to point out if not qualify the oligocracy question is that in spite of RSA’s democratic disposition, it seems those in power are reluctant to bring back African land back into the hands of black Africans, especially the poor and powerless folks who lost land and homes in the old days.
I do not blame the government for this. In the hands of the farmer, South African farmlands produced very well. Are they still to produce well in my black African brother’s hands? I mean not to be the devil’s advocate but I do not-at least for the next 50 years- see good, sizable farm produce from black farmer’s hands. We still have much to relearn when it comes to farming. We were not farmers in the days of Apartheid, only farm workers, our children, the present generation is showing promise but untill the day they are ready, it would be very irresponsible of the government to effect massive land reforms. The lobbyists who are advanncing for the priviledge of my white in-laws know this and know how to use for their own advantage. This advantage of theirs translates into the marginalization of the black man’s need to have back his land. Be it he wishes to farm or simply go on being hungry on it.

·        Can it be that the black majority enjoy the privilege of the rich?
The Republic of South Africa is a dual, capitalist country where democracy is said to be king to all man willing. Much of the population lives on the negetive side of the country’s economic dualism. Much of SADC’s people live below the 1 dollar a day poverty line. In some instances this horrible picture looks much better in South Africa’s light but if you would remove the white rich class that comes with South Africa, the picture once again darkens and leaves my black African brothers lacking almost just as much as their neigbours from the other SADC countries. Remove the social grants and you will see what I mean.
The question then is; can it ever be that we all be at least marginaly rich in my country? Can things be as things are in the G20 countries where-at laest much of the people enjoy a reasonable standard of living compared to us?
I personaly do not see this dream coming true, at least not for the next comming 30 to 40 years. The truth is that it will be very hard for us South Africans to reach that standard of living because we are still a long way off the mark. For a country to be as well managed and well performing as are the countries of Great Britain and Germany, it will have to first have people who dream their country and their lives could be like that. And that should be the majority of the people, not just a hand as is currently the case. Unfortunately for us, we do not have even the luxury to dream. We are buisy chasing after the next plate to waste time doing such a thing.
The average black South African can not even afford a decent R15 daily plate of food. Where then do you think he will get the ability to afford time to think about his future? Where on earth will he get money to afford bank fees should he choose to bank capital to start a business tomorrow, where is he going to get the cheap resources that will allow him to compete with already well established big western countries, how is he to compete with the son of rich man when for him even one slip of the toe spells huge finacial disater he can never get out of for he has no ancient financial muscle pulling him up. As far as he is concerned, he is the first of every thing buisinesy in his family and to even be there was a huge home fought psycho-emotional battle non of his European peers ever had to face.

The black South African is still a way off the ‘we are all rich mark’.It will take us a long long time and effort to get there. And we no longer have the colonial times get rich quick short cut of simply invading a foreign land and nation and rapping its people to submission and loyalty, after which the colonialists are free to export whatever is of value they can find in that land for the benefit of their mother country. Be it stone or man.
What we have is time and co-operation. We are getting there but the means we are using to achieve this dream is-I think- counter productive.

·        Affirmative action and its sister policies
One such somewhat counter productive means used by our government to get its people out of the mud of poverty is the policy of Affirmative action. The ANC introduced this policy thinking and intending it to be ‘for millions of South Africans an advance to a better life, a long overdue chance to come into their own and enjoy the good things the country has to offer. For others, particularly those leading comfortable lives today, it signifies a new form of discrimination and discrimination and injustice...’ (Affirmative Action and the New Constitution; www.anc.org.za/show.php?id=283). In short the policy allows us who once had no legs to walk to get used to our new legs while our white brothers wait just a little while for us to catch up to their level of living.
I will not lie, the policy’s good intentions are showing and are bearing fruits but there are negatives popping up as well. Here are some of them:
-Resentment: some of our white country men see the benefits of things like BEE (Black economic empowerment) but they see it out of reach for them since they cannot meet some of its requirements for them to be allowed beatification from it. There have been some reforms but they seem not enough to benefit them in some way, leading to much heart felt resentment among many a white brothers.
-Fat cats seem to be eating everything: much of our people do not have the money and educational level needed to tap into the benefits of the Affirmative action policy. As such, even though it allows more black children to enter universities than it would be possible without its enforcement, it does not effectively address the need for one to be well versed in not just English but in Business English, Business studies and good old statistics to tab its benefits. Let alone the need for law knowledge, travel money and confidence to face the educated and sophisticated brothers you will find in the office. Oh and they might burry you in a heap of scarry papers.
We, the average black South African do not have all the above at our disposal. The result is that we end up not bothering ourselves and the politicaly connected fat cats get the government tenders and every thing inbetween, leaving us poor folks frustrated and at times ready for war.
-Affirmative action hinders developement at some level: Many a people do not see this but you simply can not take one child’s lolly pop and give it to the other of your children and expect the earlier child to keep quet and be non reactive to the whole process. If you want to Forster a mutual and non toxic relationship amoung your children, it is better you provide the latter with her own lolly pop than to take from the earlier. Fortunately children forget, grown man do not.  All thiese given, I do believe that should time come, affirmative policy will be done away with and we will finally have an enviroment which will not make the other feel cheated of his ‘preciouse’. I believe that when that day finally comes we-as a people-will no longer compete but co-operate and thus develop much faster than it is possible today under this Affirmative action policy thingy.

·        The secrecy bill.
There has been an outcry and a lot of pointy fingures directed at the ANC leader president Jacob Zuma over his so called lack of leadership (I am one of those groaned over this a while back). It is worth noting that my president has his days. One of such days is the day he refused to sign the troublesome secrecy bill into law. The Guardian(www.theguardian.com/world/2013/sep/12/south-africa-zuma-secrecy-bill) reports that ‘In a suprise move, Zuma refused to sign the protction of state information bill into because it did not pass “constitutional muster” and knocked it back to parliament for revision.’ Many a people-myself included- assumed Mr Zuma would do nothing else but sign the bill to law. Doing so would have spelt disaster not just whistle blowers and journalist or even bloggers like me but every one who would dare leak important information. For more on this bill, please visit the Right2Know Campain website on www.r2k.org.za .

Countries world over do have laws that protect the states’ information from leaking. Such laws are present in the USA, the ROC and even in Zimbabwe. They are aimed at promoting state security and also safe guard rights like the right to free speech from abuse and manipulation from both government agents and the average person on the street. Unfortunately they are not always use as they were meant to and we thank the president of South Africa for his uprightness and show of leadership, even when the pistols and political bazookas are at him and are shooting not just to maim but kill.

·        Too much freedom
Is there a thing called too much freedom? I seem to think so when I look at the things going on in my country. I mean you would never find a Swazi student relaxed when the national anthem is being sung.
You will definitely never hear that country’s national anthem being sung as a remix on radio or even at home. The national anthem is, by design, a prayer to God to bless, help and protect the nation. Can it then follow that we take that prayer and make it a means by which one creative enough to do so is free to make money out of it?
And why on earth is it that we, the youth of today inherited freedom from apartheid? Was it so we will be able to party and get drunk, have sex and bare children we do not know how to take care of and as such need to rely on the government’s assistance?
Is this free speech the right to ridicule a grown man as is the president, forgegtin that he is husband ,father,and brother to a whole lot of people who look up to his leadership at his home? Does this democratic freedom translate into people insulting a king; a 7 million people strong nation just because you read from a newspaper you can not even verify was reporting the truth?

No man I think South Africans are enjoying too much freedom.  Without adherence to rules, freedom amounts to nothing but anarchy. I hope my people realize this lest they blame Jehovah for a disaster they created with their own hands.




    

    

Tuesday 28 April 2015

From a son of Cush to the sons of Japhet who have forgotten their crime and today think we South African Animals

A picture of Hector Pieterson. Short by Apartheid police during the Soweto Uprising

In the days of the Old new age
People: sons of Noah of Adam
Found themselves a thoughtful greedy
But lazy people of power
For muscle and profit
They saw it fit, wise and righteous
To separate, look down and mark us
The sons of Cush son of Ham, son of Adam;
They took Canaan, our brother’s curse
Married it with our father’s gift
Our mark, our blessing our pride
The sons of Gog and Magog stiffened their necks away
From the truth, the light and the sun
And in front of God, angels man and devil
Took away our pride, our knowledge
Our history our, dignity and our humanity.
Our children no longer know who they are
Man’s science reminds them
Man’s mind decides against what is.
They the sons of Adam our father

Made us forget that we are sons of the first kings and queens of all living man.
We were leached, our minds put away and our muscles enslaved to the will of our brothers the Japhites.
They took us, our best to work in their lands,
In their houses we dangled our nakedness
Whipped to tartars our backs were
Drilled to phi-dogs our minds were...
A dead people we were.
Our land Africa taken
Our inheritance stolen

We are the old people,
The sons of Cush
Builders of the first Kingdoms among man,
Molders of the first and greatest of Empires;
We built Babel,
We built both Meroe and Egypt

Egypt the land of Ham is full of us
For it is our fatherland
Ethiopia is full of us
For it is our prince,
 The main House
The House of Cush;
A refuge to the sons of Abraham son, of Shem son of Noah, the last of Adam;

In this house lies Hail Selassie; last of the house of Judah
But all these has been made nothing,
Our memory of it is snatched away and given to those of white skin
The Pynx stands a dump nose less witness of our times
And Nubia the source of all men’s gods or gold but One,
Remains silenced;
The source of all knowledge learned from both God and Daemons bloated out,
Our history no longer ours.
And our knowledge, glory mark and pride
A mockery to us.
We are a people left loveless
A people whose essence, humanity the image of God is no longer known.
Animals we are
They made it.
Yet today they are brave enough to stand up, point at us and
Laugh their shameless hearts out as if they have had no hand
In this monster’s creation;
Behavior modification well applied rarely fails.

We have had only 250 years to reclaim 7000 years of who we are
And because of only two tumbles
They today stand and mock us the sons of Cush.
A house punished for no curse of their own but whose sin is to the eye of man being Black; our gift, our mark, our pride.






Wednesday 22 April 2015

In point form: List of Girl habits that really tick us Guys off.

Girls can be such an annoying bunch at times-well if not all the time. The following is a list of some of the things that make them such a bunch, here goes:
·        They all claim to be beautiful
Being not so beautiful, especially facially is one of the human condition’s most cruel occurrences. Yes through the aid of advancements in cosmetic surgery it is now possible to change your features, enhance them if you so wish such that one is able to get more pronounced buttocks, a well proportioned nose, small or big hips or what is ones fancy. Some like the South African singer/artist Mshoza have gone so far that I doubt their own mother and father recognise them anymore. The girl bleached her poor black skin until them poor pigments yielded and the body chased father Cush’s gift out of her system. The end result: a white looking who seems out of place in her own body...Oh and she seems unable to divorce her makeup artists and their kits.
Mshoza, I liked you better when you had the pigment father Cush gave us. I know you are not alone, as such I will go on and not leave out the little female-and maybe male- Mshozas out there. Your Kekesies and all them horrible bleachy face creams will not help make you any more beautiful than you either tell yourselves and feel.
 Rather stick to working at that well conditioned, cool apartment store down the corner...All will be well; you will get a good well balanced complexion that does not just end with the face and front of ear but actually goes down all over that good looking body of yours to cover not only them legs but those toy-toying toes of yours crowning the feet.
Oh and if you think you beautiful, why is it then that you seem never to cease crowding all those beauty boutiques and shops crowding the suburbs? And why do you like the beauty magazines so much.
One last question; why is it that 80% of those who suffer bulimia and its cousin psychological challenges are you, skinny otherwise beautiful girls who happen to think their mirror is playing tricks on them?

Beauty is what you think and how you feel about yourself. To feel beautiful or even to have it not matter you ought to cultivate your talents. Learn new skills and be so good that you can even earn money from them. I would like a girl who’s got all the right moves and can apply them in all the right places but things like a good education, good driving skills and well learnt and applied money moves are far more sexier than all them skinny jeans and sexy thighs put together.

·        We no longer know their hair
One of my personal major turn offs is the wick. The fake hair women of this day and age seem so determined to wear, adapt, restyle and develop and wear again till the Lord comes again. Are we ever to see the African hair: the Afro of yester year in all her glory? And what is wrong with good old blue Afrikaner girl eyes complimented by blond straight if not ashen hair? Black or white we all cry for one  thing these days: bring back the all natural African and European hair, we love the thrill it gives us when you let us play around with it...Pull it and all. You can never hope to fool around with a lady friend’s wick, let alone pull it. Never!
Oh one more thing, these wicks stink man, I would rather have you with no hair at all than these things.
If we love you with your PMPS, what then is to stop us loving you without those wicks and extensions?

·        The hugs
Ok, we all like hugs. They are nice, they remind us that we are human, we are also lovable and we also have that squishy warm fuzzy feeling that comes with hugs. But too much of a thing is dangerous and hugs are no exception.
You girls love hugging; a guy is happy, you give him a hug, a guy is sad; you give a hug, he is angry and out of touch you offer a hug, he meets another guy; you expect ‘em to hug...Enough of them already.

A good hug once a while is good enough but you can’t go around hugging me all them and all over the place. And please do not:
-Hug me when I am angry at someone (especially you). I want you near me, yes, but not that near. I do not want to hurt you.
-Hug me when I am hungry. A good ‘hallow sweety, how was work?’ is fine but a plate of good home cooked meal is much better than anything else.
-Hug me after the deed. A hug after sex is very confusing to some if not all of us. Are you saying thank you for the great session or are saying that you love me but my sex performance is so bad that you see it fit to comfort me instead of hating for wasting your time and soiling your well preserved cooky jar?
-Hug your boy if not pastor friend breast and all touching with me around. I do not want to be arrested for murder but I will if you so disrespect me this way. Stand very much far away, extend your hand and shake pastor friend hands if he so insist on body contact. Do this and we will avoid all things bloody and gruesome my dear love.
-Hug without breasts pads. No offence intended but if you are the hugging type and you are pregnant please be sure NOT to forget your breast pads. I am not the father of the baby; you need not punish me for another devil’s sins!

·        The ‘Devil at the counter’ ladies. We know getting work affords you confidence and we know that one who works with a lot of people cannot afford not being assertive but please do use it all the time. Some of us really do not deserve the hate you give us. Go on doing this and I will ask for your manager, do not blame me.

·        The makeup.
We all love a good make up (even boys I hear) but what is up with this tipoko (ghosts) we so frequently have to confront on a daily bases this days? Girls apply so much mud on their poor faces that they cannot even afford the mistake of smiling. You greet the poor face and it just looks at you-as if it just got itself a botox injection. The heart is screaming ‘Hi’ and every other compliment that comes with the word but poor girl cannot afford to carless express herself for should she ever be so bold her mud will fall away from the face she so laboriously enhanced for you.  You don’t want the results of that on your conscious.

·        The skinny jeans
Ahhh! All hail the devil of all devils who gave us such a treat. There is nothing like a confident well mannered lady in them skinny jeans and a pair of nice red little numbers for shoes. Oh dear. There is definitely something amiss with a woman in skinny jeans on stilettos: they change them. Some ugly duckling on average, every day shoe suddenly blossom into this beautiful, attractive, assertive, confident, sexy women you cannot help but yield your will to.
As is in all things, unfortunately, there are some females who simply wear this blessing all wrong and spoil the whole thing-for everyone.
You see, most skinny jeans are low cut designee trousers on the other hand; most African girls are quite well endowed when it comes to shape and curves at the right places. Unfortunately the above mentioned two gifts sometimes just do not mix well. Poor sisters love them skinny jeans so much that they at times do not seem to consider their ‘reverse gift’ when wearing them. So long as the front is covered, what is at the rear can peep over the belt and see the world all it likes. Oh the things we see!
Oh and to them white girls: please be sure your skinny jeans hug your ‘door like back side’ before you dare leave the mirror and go out the door. We love your legs but some of us man are not so sure we will not pity trouser when they try to hold on for dear life all day long-especially when you climbing up to somewhere.

Your dress or skirt is a safe bet, it is modest (well some of them), fashionable and timeless in nature. No lady friend can ever go wrong with those. Use them: you are the only creature on earth built well enough to rock ‘em hands down.

·        Show off str*+_+ch marks.
Eghmm! Ladys, these story lines are sexy but not all the time. Please be sure to wear under coats sexy enough to cover them and enhance your over all outfit all at once. Oh and do not worry, you can rock them up when we in bed or just playing round somewhere romantic: they are a huge turn on there my love. So long as you allow me to play with them.

·        They all want to be skinny.
 Go all ‘skinny diety’ on my watch you will see wonders. I will sabotage the whole thing. Feed you in your sleep if I have to! I do not want you falling sick and dying on me all because you felt I like those skinny models you envy in the magazines. We like variety, good old African/traditional built Afrikaner, Indian or mulato with a good head on her shoulders turns most of us on just fine. And we are not afraid we may break any bone here. I hear some like holding on to something during the deed-what this is I do not know. Keep your body, we love it!

I really never meant any offence, but yeah, these habits really tick me off at times. For more advice on how to dress well, please consult your mother. Otherwise feel free to let magazines like Cosmopolitan tempt you into doing all those things your mommy did your age but would never want you to know about. Here’s a link www.cosmopolitan.com . Go torture your greedy heart; enjoy!