Tuesday 21 October 2014

The head ache born of the terms girlfriend,love and the sex contract

Of late I’ve been pondering over the idea of getting myself a girlfriend.

But before I get to commerce on the subject, I think I will have to first negotiate a number of questions;

One of them is, exactly what does the concept girlfriend mean, what does it entail? To a three and four year old this wouldn’t be hard to figure out, it simply means a girl who’s a friend, that’s all. To a fifteen year old the definition changes and gets itself charged with emotional undertones and way too many uncertainties one has to be sure of first before even considering dignifying the poor naughty question with an answer socially.

Basically, for an innocent fifteen year old, the term girlfriend means a girl who is a friend not only socially but also because of love- a concept I still find hard to understand.

The reason for such hardship in connection to love brought by this questions; what is love really? Does it have any rules, are these rules really applicable and really, is this not just a glorified form of sex contract?

I,over the benefit of not risking a head ache, decided to settle the last question by settling with what I think is the basic answer; One can never truly tell but I do think to some extent (big or small ) it a form of a sex contract  coined for the benefit of some kind, for some party at the expense of some poor party. It just so happens the terms complicate themselves when used together…or dear.

 

The answer is simple…only you have to find it on your own.

Girlfriends will have to wait for now.

,

 

Wednesday 15 October 2014

The illusion that is my country’s democratic freedom: Power my the people to kill themselves?

We here say that in relation to governance, democracy is the best thing that would ever happen to sovereign state.
There are number of reasons for this but the most widely cited is that it Gives Power To The People.

Gives power to the people, what do these words mean exactly? Well, effectively democracy-the word-means that "people rule", hence the phrase: the people shall govern!
It is in principle, a state of government/ruler-ship where the power of decision making in relation the present and future of a people living as a nation is made by non other but the people themselves. From the building of toilets to the waging of wars. That is what is.
Now, I grew up under a kingdom. Effectively a born subject of non other but King Mswati 111, king of Swaziland. That given, I happen to be a South African Zulu on the merit of my father's blood ties to the Zulu Kingdom and thus effectively my own. 20yrs down the line, South Africa is now a democracy. A beautiful one at that. Considering these things I gave myself time to watch both kingdom and democracy play out. I ended up noticing that South Africans enjoy a number of things, freedom of speech for example. Essentially it means speak your mind and the truth as you see it. Swaziland has this too. The people sit around their king in the Royal Kraal and speak their troubles as they have done since the ancients: with respect and dignity. The papers are used too and believe me such are not pretty. South Africa's free speech is essentially more intense than Swaziland's. The people here are radical and more to the point...Leading to my troubles. The RSA government has now proposed and is now in a process of passing an information protection bill. While Swaziland has adopted the military styled Terrorism act (a fraction of the subjects and some foreigners hate the Kingship). Political parties are banned in Swaziland (obviously) while some democratic countries use Freedom of Speech limiting laws to stifle if not ban opposition parties. America is one good example of this. While it is publicly accepted that they (Americans) have Freedom of Expression, it is essentially not all of them. The American First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution says Congress shall make no law limiting the freedom of speech, or the press…(www.lincoln.edu/criminaljustice/hr/Speech.htm). The law is clear at first glance but a number of years down the law history line we find the Parker vs.. Levi 1974 linked amendment. Here an American soldier made a public appeal against the army, urging black Americans not to be involved in the Vietnam war because America was wrong to get itself involved. All these happened because he had refused to train medics who were to go to Vietnam based on his ethics as a medical doctor. This led to the US government limiting military personnel’s Freedom of Expression.

 

Now how is it that a country thought to be liberal and free as is America comes to have limiting laws on some of its citizens; the military? Well the usual reason is that there is a need to protect the health of the military and thus that of the country. Medal of Honor creators are said to have bridged this need in their use of an ex-Afghanistan participating soldier in some details of the game. Mr.. Snowden, a former CIA officer is on the run from the US because he revealed the US’ spying games on foreign governments and even on its own people.

Mean while, my people the Swazi are now faced with a very displeasing future. The country will, as of January 2015, be removed from America’s AGOA free trade beneficiary program; rendering more than 60% of the country’s working class jobless, hungry, deprived of education and very much at odds with not only the Prime Minister but the king himself. Very nice recipe for a civil war don’t you think? Oh and it is working.

 

As far as I am concerned, my country is dying for nothing. Democracy as is advertised and marketed by the USA is nice on the books but it is not what makes a country and its people happy and secure in their dreams, liberties, abilities, efforts and securities. Neither is it Socialism, Capitalism, Monarchy, Caliphate or even Communism. It is rather the motivations, aspirations, morals, and judgments of the people in power. The passengers can only tell the bus driver where, how, why and how fast they want to go. It is up to the bus driver to decide weather, how, why and when will he carry out the passengers’ wishes.

 

Funny how the more things change the more they stay the same, isn’t it?

The illusion of power, Oh dear!  

 

South Africans often look down on my country of birth. They despise the idea of one man ruling the whole country. Most make the mistake of equating King Mswati’s rule to that of ruthless, heartless and greedy dictator whose heart is bent on serving himself and no one else but himself and his family. They equate him to the Apartheid regime where we the blacks mattered only to till the soils and sow the fields. We were no people then but serfs if not slaves to the master on a black horse; subhuman.

That’s what they compare Swaziland to. They are entitled to their own opinion-pristine or rubbish-but as far as I am concerned the Swaziland I grew up in the past 22years is far better than this South Africa my poor children might find themselves growing up in. A country of uncertainty and pain all day every day, a country so at odds with itself to the point of it being a cancer to itself. This people are dying: crime is on the rise and happens every day, we murder each other gruesomely, we rape ourselves-even our grandmothers viciously and kill them off in cold blood. It’s all a bloody scene and it the scariest part is that it is all becoming altogether too normal…water under the bridge. Even our roads have turned to blood-rivers, you may ignore it all you like but fear is everywhere here, such that even hopping on a bus to town or shutting your eyes to sleep is a risk ridden affaire. Oh and politics are now corrupted by business, Marikana and Lonmin 2012 saga is the latest most gruesome of all examples of this. Zuma, my president, Shabire Shaike and the Arms deal all bring my point closer to home; messy business man playing around with my peoples’ hopes, blood and sweat. Politicking their way off to the cheese cake that is government sit and drive us to this cliff we-most of us anyways- do not see.

I am not saying Zuma is killing the country. I am rather saying he is watching it die for the sake of power to the people. It is not proper governance that comes first here. It is first fame then governance. The choices   you make as president in this country seem to directly translate to more elections chances in the party’s favor…more power to them dear and that’s it, literally.

Is this the democracy our fathers and brothers fought for? Is this the freedom my great grand fathers and all the other Zulu Chiefs and their numerous kings fought and died for? Is this the freedom the Dutch and French of old South Africa in their purest of hearts wanted for the present day hate free born Afrikaner? The freedom murder, still and marginalize the meek? Jungle Africa the state of weak law enforcement, a country under siege, not free at all!

 

Again I say:

 As far as I am concerned, my country is dying for nothing. Democracy as is advertised and marketed by the USA is nice on the books but it is not what makes a country and its people happy and secure in their dreams, liberties, abilities, efforts and securities. Neither is it Socialism, Capitalism, Monarchy, Caliphate or even Communism. It is rather the motivations, aspirations, morals, and judgments of the people in power. The passengers can only tell the bus driver where, how, why and how fast they want to go. It is up to the bus driver to decide weather, how, why and when will he carry out the passengers’ wishes.

 

Funny how the more things change the more they stay the same, isn’t it?

The illusion of power, Oh dear! We are not free at all. Just dying. And bye the way ruling parties do act like absolute monarchs sometimes.  

 

 

 

Tuesday 19 August 2014

To he who rules me

To he who rules me

To he who grooms me

The one who steers me

Me his son

 

The son of the

Rivers, the valleys, the glens

Of Africa

My mother.

 

I who drinks from her fair veins

Eats of her breast and sleeps of

Her calls

Calls from her pores cooling me:

 

I who smiles from her suns

And sobers of her moon

I find paths of her eyes

And wisdom of her gate ways

 

Drums and groans

Cries and moans

Bites and beatings

Songs and sorrows

From greed, greens and greetings,

 

A woman’s pride is her hair

A mother’s jewels is her breast

Her waist is her identity

Her womb her sword soldiers:

Protectors’ projectors:

 

All poisons, gladly and eagerly

Destroyed

Cut off, all of it nothings

Pull off, all of it meaningless,

Stripped off.

 

He li-lies

Kings queens princes dancing

Pot naked and it naked

It shines clattering for her own blood.

Bling-bling blinding

All who see naked,

Your mother,

My queen black

 

Of her sons’ greens of greed,

Stripped off

Cut off

To nothing but shame, pain and neglect.

I present to you your mother my king!

 

 

Monday 18 August 2014

Your Mother My King

To he who rules me To he who grooms me The one who steers me Me his son The son of the Rivers, the valleys, the glens Of Africa My mother. I who drinks from her fair veins Eats of her breast and sleeps of Her calls Calls from her pores cooling me: I who smiles from her suns And sobers of her moon I find paths of her eyes And wisdom of her gate ways Drums and groans Cries and moans Bites and beatings Songs and sorrows From greed, greens and greetings, A woman’s pride is her hair A mother’s jewels is her breast Her waist is her identity Her womb her sword soldiers: Protectors’ projectors: All poisons, gladly and eagerly Destroyed Cut off, all of it nothings Pull off, all of it meaningless, Stripped off. He li-lies Kings queens princes dancing Pot naked and it naked It shines clattering for her own blood. Bling-bling blinding All who see naked, Your mother, My queen black Of her sons’ greens of greed, Stripped off Cut off To nothing but shame, pain and neglect. I present to you your mother my king!

Tuesday 15 July 2014

Dear Jehovah: Who are You?

Dear Jehovah
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately (or should I say feeling). I got many questions for you Jehovah.

I know you have provided answers for us in that book they call the Bible but truth be told; they at times not quite enough. I cannot do much feeling like this. Inadequate. I have done every possible thing there is to address how I feel but it seems as though it is not yet enough. I get to be like this every time the hard core questions to life come to mind and swam onto me like bees to a thief. One very often asked question has to do directly with you-a number of them actually.

Who are you?
Well, this is perhaps the most useful and also the most hopeless of questions I being me can ever ask you. Why? Well, because it is both a believers’ power against disbelief in your right to rule not just the universe but also and very much his mind. Or his belief thereof…
The question of “who are you” is best left alone. But for my indulgence and mine alone; you God are Jehovah, the only true creator and master of the universe. You are He who we should address praises for the creations on the earth and the universe itself (Math 6:9). It once quite easy for me to leave the question at that but then, as you well know; as we men grow we tend to do one of the following; leave the question, ask and get the answer, expand the answer( mostly for self-glory). I happened to be one of those who liked asking questions, getting the answer and expand upon it-mostly because it feels good to me. True to this preference ( I dare not say nature) I found myself asking the question: Besides the Biblical answers to this question-believe you me they are the most valuable answers-who is Jehovah?
I would very much love to gloat and say I found the answer but verily I did not.
Instead of answers to this billion dollar question-literally- I got myself confronted by a horde of quite devilish questions I found myself not quite ready if not unwilling to answer. Is Jehovah a psychological invention of both the primarily single God worshiping Egyptians and Jews of old? Is he a desert peoples' answer to a need to address  a need for a person powerful enough to enable them the strength to found a homeland and protect them from forces sure enough in their power and ability to wipe them off the face of the Earth? Better still, is he modern man’s so called powerful alien being who happened to decide to plant a colony of feeble intelligence and leave it to grow as an unattended experiment and then prove itself worthy enough to join the rest of universal civilization and intelligence very much alive out there in the universe?

I do not see any of the above questions of much interest to a true Christian. They can actually prove destructive but are they meant never to be asked?
Did the Devil plant them into this my brain and hoped they would be blasphemous enough for you to forsake me as you did Israel and therefore leave me to die and perish as he himself is meant to? I do not know the answer to this but I do conclude that it is a question very much tormenting the minds of those who wish and are willing to serve no other Master of the Universe but you.
As for me; I do believe you are out there…I have verily seen you work in my short life. Not in miracles off course but right in my heart, in my family and very much so in my congregation and the world as is. I have faced famine, eviction, hopelessness, some grief and mortal danger: all this only to find you mercifully pulling me through at the other side. I am looking forward to a world where you will rule directly and let me live the life you intended our father and mother Adam and Eve to live the day you declared all creations perfect. I am not sure of my faith and abilities but should I so be found indeed fit, I will verily enjoy the New World.

I hope I do.        

Monday 7 July 2014

Without you

I try to sleep Without your hand I try to close these mine eyes Without your lips Carasing my heart Without your beat Beating Calming this my soul; Helping me Bringing me bliss, Singing softy, Ever so softly Tenderly; Ever so tenderly. I try to dream you, I imagine you; Envision you But soon run out of stregnth God! Finding someone like you is futile You are every thing to me Your love is my drug Your smile my eleaxer And your hand my life. Should you decide to Leave I’ll die.

Saturday 5 July 2014

The other

My palms are sweaty

I feel as if I am swimming

I’m drowning

Every thing’s all over

I can’t feel anything…

Damn him, he’s coming

Doesn’t he ever get it;

I hate him,

He is filth

Nothing

Never to be anything any where

Any how

Damn him!

My breath is deep within,

My eyes,

If I still have any,

Are fixed

My head’s swimming

I’m suffocating

Here he comes.

God; will he ever tire

I do not feel

Never will

Oh God!

She’s waiting,

Must I go to her

What am I to say

Oh how I wish I hadn’t

It’s all too much!

Look at him

He is standing there

Mouth gaping

Wild eyed

Filth!

My throat

It is tired; dry!

Painfully embarrassing!

God!

I rue the day I was born

Love!

Speak

You wasting my time

Damn him!

What am I to do now;

Must I be the one who speaks

“I… I love you”

“So what if you do!”

“I don’t know”

“Typical!”

“What made you come anyway”

“Love”

“ Love.”

“I despise that word

Especially if it is from

Somebody who’s a nobody like you.”

“Well I despise such words

From a women

We expect love and respect

Even if you do hate me

Respect me!

It’s not much to ask.”

“Look at you

You are hardly worth twenty cents

You stink, you don’t bath

Yet you profess love to me”

“At least I am being sincere

I hide not behind them fancy

Fancy clothes

Nor do I hide my eyes

You can see them

You see me for who I am.”

As if I care what he thinks,

Even if I did love him a little

How am I to present such

A thing to mother:

My father and his cattle!

You are considering

I know you are

You can’t hide such from me.

Look at him

He’s now a shrink.

Who gave him that much bravery

I wish he just fall down and die.

I am baffled

What am I to say.

She is looking at me.

Her eyes

They are too much

Beautiful

But full of hate

Hate mingled with fear

A spark of love

I hate myself

I am trying my best

Rather it be this way.

He’s somehow charming

No! Stop that you doing

Love or no love he’s charming

Lovable!

Love!

Yes my sweet heart

Did you not see it at first;

That your precious heart is mine

Mine to love to love cherish and to hold

Protect honor and nourish

Did you not see that it can overcome

That your minding

I am wining

No I am getting lovable

Oh the word.

I wish I wasn’t here.

Mother is going to kill me,

No, hang me by the toe.

This is filth

Lovable, irresistible, persistent, brave filth:

A man I could I could love.

“Yes I can see that

You love me but

You despise that which

I am

What difference does that make

Am I not a man!

Yes, is he not a man

Why should I care what my parents say:

To hell with friends

They…

“friends can’t give you what I can

If… dare not say

But love is better than that which money

Might offer

For it remedies wounds.

Money can only make life a bit bearable,

That is all it can do”

He is a man!

He is Gold and he is right.

A man like this is hard to find

I am Connered.

Such words I have never encountered.

Such character I have never seen.

A brave kind of filth,

Speaking right into my heart:

Not my clothing,

Not my body.

No

But to my heart, my fragile hopeless and pride but broken wreck of a heart.

Building it as he speaks

Feeling me without touch

He sees me

And I him.

I am confused.

She is out of her shell.

She better remember how to breath

I love her eyes

I hope the hope I see in her is mine.

Ours.

My heart,

It is pounding

I am sweaty

My heart is softening

My body is betraying me

I am sweating all over

What am I to do

I hate this man

Why must I love him

Why must he love me

He is filth

He is nothing

Look at him!

Boy am I in for a treat.

This is beautiful, lovely

I must have been in for this a long time ago;

She loves me!

Stupid man

Why can you not see the problems

You touched my heart

I love you, you filth

Now move my soul.