Youth day; your success, my failure

I was never a person
Of pomp
Never in my short life
Have I ever become
Elated of spirit
All for the sake
Of pomp.
I hate these…
I hate this country
And I hate these,
My people.
It is June sixteen
Today.
The day my forever
Age mate died.
It is June sixteen
Today
The day my forever
To remain father
Was made.
It is my day of failure
This day
My day of success.
It is my day of joy
This day,
My day of disappointment
I the son of Mathonga-Ntunga
Am nothing today,
I the son of Mathonga-Nguni
Am a shadow today
I the son of Ndaba kaMalandela
Am a pi-dog today.
You died for nothing my brother.
You died for nothing my dearest father.
This your sweat and blood amounted to murder
and pain,
My mother cries daily
My father sees me not
My family loves me no more
My lover loves to leave
And my friends die with me
Her appeals meant nothing;
I chose to run to the bed of
My death
My freedom is for drugs and rape
My room for sex and death
My brain for fornication and abuse
My genitalia for pain and pain only
My hands for rot and furry
I run to pleasure and inflicting pain.
I know no value of conscience nor God:
He is a prison warder for me,
He is not my power but is my weakness
He is a vengeful fable of a child's doll she calls a
God
This,
A living, thinking and rational being such as I
am
Is in need of no God but himself!
I need not the God of my fathers
I need not the God of my oppressor
I need not this person who for 400 years forgot
me.
His inexistence from this my mind
Is my freedom,
My freedom to steal, rape, hate and inflict
pain.
My liberty to ignore education and own grand
mother's cry
My freedom to uneducate and murder this, my
own son,
Starve her to death.
Let him eat or die with the dogs
Rot this my pain
Kill this my society
Murder this my own country
And scatter this my own people
I the son of my father's black house.
This my country is my freedom
This my forever young age mate is my liberty
This my dearest father is why you died.
What then makes you believe
I love my country
All I do is show her hate.