Praise Jehovah

For a time, I have increasingly found it difficult to go on being Christian because of my own personal failures and those of my fellow Christian brothers and sisters.
It took me a chat with a young non JW Christian girl to understand and perceive the value of what I lost in my life while I was busy rebelling against Jehovah because of failures I saw in my fellow Jehovah's witnesses life.
In doing so I ended up discouraged and hurt. My dispaire grew as I saw my life useless in light of being unable to provide for my family and being a constant nuisance to my relatives and friends.
My perception of life darkened every day and I constantly felt it more viable for me to die than to live and waste Jahs time.
My eyes were not on the Christ. As such it became easy for me to forget that Christ had walked my path. Peter had walked it too and as impossible as it was he finished it and is today among the twenty four elders ruling the heaven with Christ.
Christianity is not easy. It is hard way of life and it is not every day that Jehovah will answer your prayers the way you want them answered. Unfortunately once you have heard God's word you are compelled to change and know him at deeper level than usual.
I have grown from my 10yr old life struggles. It took me a 17 yr old non Jehovah's witnesses Christian child to do that.
Praise Jehovah.